How am I doing?

It’s embarrassing to admit but I occasionally ask my children for a performance review of my parenting skills. “How am I doing? ” I’ve written in emails, “Tell me what I should stop, start, and continue doing.”

My daughter replied recently:

     1. STOP sending out performance reviews. It’s weird.

     2. START not sending performance reviews. It’s weird.

     3. CONTINUE everything else.

 Okay, I really deserved that.

Yes, I get a little carried away when it comes to leadership models. But it still amazes me how the fundamentals of good parenting and solid leadership are practically the same. Really.

I’ve also noticed how Blanchard's Situational Leadership Model applies to child rearing. Now that my kids are grown, I’m doing a whole lot less hand holding and a lot more delegating. It’s not always easy. The toughest part for me is withholding advice and encouraging them to generate their own solutions.

I invited my friend, Meg Akabas, certified parenting educator and author of 52 Weeks of Parenting Wisdom, to join me on this Vlog to discuss the similarities between good parenting and leadership.

Happy Mother’s Day!  Happy Father’s Day!  Happy Manager’s Day!

Best,

P.S. Here’s a TWEET for you to share: "There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children: roots and wings." - H. Carter via @CoachOra

Lose the Volunteer Blues

Do you have the volunteer blues? You want to get involved—and you believe in helping others—but you just haven’t found the right way to do it?

Sure, it’s easy to cart out the tired excuses: who’s got the time, the energy, or the extra bandwidth? But maybe it’s something else, too. Maybe you want it to feel a bit more productive or worthwhile.

Have you considered skills-based volunteering?

When volunteering is a good fit, you can leverage your skills and talents to help individuals or strengthen organizations. You might even extend your professional network in the process.

Bottom line: when volunteering feels good, it helps others even more.

I went from the volunteering doldrums to delight when I discovered Pencil, an innovative non-profit that matches professionals with public schools. I love my Pencil volunteer experience so much, that I invited Michael Haberman, the President of Pencil, to join me on this Vlog.  

When it comes to volunteering, Pencil will let you do it your way.

Best!

P.S. Here’s a TWEET for you to share: "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."- Gandhi via @CoachOra

Sex not Salary

If you’re like most Americans, you’re more comfortable talking about your sex life than your salary.

39% of us, according to one study, are anxious about salary negotiations. (Clearly, the other 61% just aren’t admitting it.)

If you fall into the 39%, chances are, you are not getting paid fairly. With all your experience, effort and results, shouldn’t you get paid what you deserve?!

You betcha!

But of the many tough conversations we have at work, the salary talk is the one that gets us most agitated.

In order to change this, you need to take a brave first step. Power up your leadership and bring the conversation about performance and compensation out into the open. Ask for a meeting.  Schedule it.  And come prepared with the following information at your fingertips:

• ‪Your top contributions for the past period, with specifics and examples to back them up  
• ‪Your current work and how it will influence year-end results
• ‪Areas you plan on developing and enhancing in the period to come
• ‪Knowledge about comparable salaries in your industry  

Salary expert, Jim Hopkinson, suggests that when we transition from talking about our contributions to asking for a raise, we say something like: ‪  ‪  ‪  ‪  ‪   

"Based on the work I’ve accomplished this year, my plan to finish my current projects, and how I’m lined up to help the company in the future, can we talk about an increase in my compensation?"

Be prepared:  the answer could be no.  Alison Doyle, a job search expert suggests that you have a Plan B:  “If the raise doesn't materialize, have a fall-back plan i.e. Do you want a title change? Do you want to work on an emerging technology project?" ‪  ‪ 

At the end of the day, if you don't power up your ‪voice when it comes to  ‪money, you’ll never get that increase or that bonus.  Jim Hopkinson, The Salary Tutor, joins me on this Vlog with great tips for getting the salary you deserve.‪

If you like what you see and want more, Jim has an entire online course to help you negotiate a raise or promotion.  And, he’s darling enough to provide this coupon code to give you 50% off: OraCoach50.

 Best!

 

P.S. Here’s a TWEET for you to share: "What we obtain too cheaply, we esteem too lightly." - Thomas Paine via @CoachOra

How 'bout a backrub?

Stress is bad for you, right?

Well, yes and no. Most of us think of stress as a negative thing. We associate it with anxiety and consider it an obstacle to reaching personal goals. We blame it for triggering unhealthy habits and addictions.

In a surprising twist on the subject, leading author Shawn Achor along with Yale researchers Alia Crum and Peter Salovey claim if you change your mindset about stress, it can actually HELP you achieve important goals.  In their study, when researchers showed UBS employees videos of the benefits of stress, the workers reported experiencing the productivity and energizing boosting effects of their stress. 

That doesn't mean you should add MORE stress to your life.  The trick is to carefully manage stress so that it increases productivity rather than undercuts job satisfaction. 

That said, stress is the cause of multiple health conditions, and it is generally not recommended to live your life in a frazzled, frenetic, and frantic way. In this Vlog, Jordan Friedman, the famous Stress Coach, describes the simple things you can do to reduce your symptoms and inoculate yourself from getting even more stressed out. For starters, how about a backrub? It apparently has magical effects on your oxytocin and cortisol levels.

In my view, a nice backrub is never a bad idea!

Best!

P.S. Here’s a TWEET for you to share: "Have a good time, and go home when you’re tired." - George Abbott via @CoachOra

Need a lock for your refrigerator?

Remember the recent controversy when Yahoo CEO Melissa Mayer called all virtual workers back to the office? 

New York Times’ columnist Maureen Dowd called it a "fem-quake" while Virgin CEO Richard Branson deemed it "a backwards step." A “symptom of problems," is how The Economist put it. 

Maybe you think it was all of the above and then some. 

Mayer’s announcement was so radically counter-trend that it evoked emotional tirades pro and con. The Cynical Girl topped it off by calling the entire backlash “stupid and sexist.”

Don't forget, you are part of a growing virtual workplace trend, if you even occasionally work from home. The bottom-line report on work-from-home policies is encouraging—higher caliber talent, increased productivity, decreased costs, and lower employee attrition.

Naturally the virtual workplace doesn’t work for everyone. And who can deny the distractions we encounter from a home desk – a barking dog, a crying baby, and a ubiquitous refrigerator. Still, remote working can be a win-win for both employers and employees.

Yael Zofi, author of A Manager’s Guide to Virtual Teams, joins me in this Vlog, with tips to maximize our virtual workday.    

Best! 

P.S. Here's a TWEET for you to share: Technology gives us power, but it does not and cannot tell us how to use that power. – Jonathan Sacks via @CoachOra